Not Again
by DarknessShinesOn
Summary: Strange things seem to happen around Paige the people she cares about are being kidnapped and she's sinking into this world around her when someone tries to save the day. A strange family who actually believe the things she's saying, they try to protect her and give her a life that's better then the life she's living right now. Read inside for warnings.
1. Chapter 1

**This story will contain angst, depression, suicidal thoughs/actions** **and mentions of rape, so if you can't handle to read things like that, then please don't. These are serious things, trust me, I know, so if anyone ever needs to talk, please send me a message, there are times when you can't cope, please talk to someone. Anyone, please, if you need to talk, reach out to me.**

 **I do not own Supernatural (though I wish I did).**

Chapter 1

People say life is easy, well maybe for them, for me? Yeah not so much. My life had been completely wrong for weeks now. Three weeks ago my best friend Tiffany was kidnapped, right out of her bedroom window, and it was right in front of me too. We were having a sleepover, if you can even call it that anymore. When I think of sleepovers I think of 9 year olds painting each other's nails, staying up all night giggling and telling ghost stories. When your 16 it's not like that. We still stay up late, but we're mostly just glued to the television giving us a chance to not think.

When Tiffany was taken we had maybe been asleep for an hour. I was in that place between sleep and being awake. When I opened my eyes I couldn't really see clearly, sleep still clouded my vision and even thought the doctors told me I was still dreaming, I knew what I saw was real. There was a man, well not really a man, he was maybe around our age, I didn't know him, but he was very attractive. He was standing in middle of the room, and Tiffany was pressed up against him, holding him and he was whispering I her ear.

She nodded, looked my way, closed her eyes for a moment, then started to climb out of her window, something we've both done a million times, and he started to follow.

"Tiff, where ya going?" I asked as I started to lean up off the bed, but the stranger looked at me and put his finger to his lips.

"Shh." He winked at me and came closer. He gently pushed me back to the bed, but I wasn't scared. Looking back I know I should have been, but I wasn't. "It's not your time yet, go to sleep." He whispered and gently kissed my forehead, almost like a big brother would have done. He walked back to the window and crawled out after Tiffany.

My eyes closed and I drifted back to sleep only to be woken hours later by Tiffany's mom shaking me awake. "Paige, where's Tiffany?"

I rubbed my eyes, and the memory came flooding into my brain. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window looking out at the quiet morning. I told Ilene what I had witnessed hours ago.

The police questioned me, my parents arrived and two days later I was talking to a psychiatrist. Nobody believed me, everyone thought she had just run away. Tiff and I weren't exactly squeaky clean type of girls, but it wasn't like we were trash either. We both had a record so the 'adults' assumed she had just run off with her boyfriend, even though I told them she wouldn't ever run away without me, and no matter how much I told them, no one would listen, the mystery man wasn't her boyfriend. I didn't even know him.

There's just no way she would ever run away without me. Tiffany was the first person to truly know me. If it wasn't for her, I would probably have killed myself long ago.

Tiffany was the first to go missing. Two days after Tiffany went missing, another kid went missing, this time it was a male about 13, again people just assumed he ran away, then four days after that another girl vanished, she was 14. Last night it happened again. My sister. She's only 10, and she was taken right out of my own bedroom.

Again the police came, questioned me, and then left, leaving us with more questions than answers. No lead's…nothing.

School was now a somber affair. People had always picked on me at school. I was different and kids didn't like different. I was bullied and pushed down my whole life. Tiffany came and breathed new life into me when we were ten. We couldn't be more different, she was beautiful, smart and just loveable. People flocked to her, despite being friends with a freak like me. She had long strawberry blond hair, perfect teen and was flawless.

Me, well I'm just awkward, have dark hair that can't decide if it wants to be curly or wavy, so pale that people make jokes about me being a ghost. Tiffany was just my ray of sunshine that has kept me alive for 6 years.

After Tiffany was taken, I slid down deep into my ever growing abyss of depression. I was barely hanging on. Then after Elizabeth was taken, well after that I lost my hold on reality. When I was at school I was in a fog. No one talked to me, no one even looked at me, now I was the odd emo girl who was crazy and made people disappear around me.

Lunch was the worst. At least in class it wasn't required that I talk, but at lunch noise bombarded me. People laughed and talked like nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong! Didn't these people get it? Somewhere out there kids were being taken. Were they still alive? Were they being tortured?

A guy pulled a chair out next to me causing me to look up from the book I had been reading. "Anyone sitting here?" He asked me. I looked at him with shock, confusion, and stupidity. No one ever sat by me anymore, people avoided me like the plaque. After a few seconds of him just looking at me, waiting to give and answer I realized he was actually really asking to sit next to me. Was he being sarcastic? Of course that seat wasn't taken, no one ever sat near me, let alone right next to me. "Are you just an asshole, or just stupid?" I spat at him.

Someone from the table over shouted out, "hey new kid, stay away from Paige the Poltergeist or you'll go missing too!"

Dread spread throughout my body and tears filled my eyes. I looked into his green eyes, let out a small sob, and went running out of the lunch room as people laughed and pointed at me as I ran out. I flew down the halls and out into the cold air outside. I can't deal with this anymore. I needed to get away. I ran until I was at my car before I realized I left all my stuff in the lunch room. I had to carry everything with me because people were breaking into my locker. Sometimes they would take everything out, which left me trying to explain to my teachers why I was unprepared for class, but mostly they put stuff in my locker. The worst time was when people left a fish in my locker over the weekend.

This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I crumpled down on the ground resting my back against the door of my car and cried. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead against my knees, wrapping my arms around my knees. I would have to wait until I knew everyone was at class before I went back into the lunch room to get my backpack. I just wanted to shrink and curl up within myself forgetting the world around me, but it wasn't working.

I heard someone walking through the parked cars and stop in front of me. I didn't bother raising my head, whoever was standing in front of me was only here to bother me, and I didn't want to give them the time of day. They just needed to leave me alone. Was it really so hard to just ignore me? Let me live my life in peace and quiet. My best friend and sister were missing, people should be trying to help me, not trying to hurt me. After a few minutes the stranger didn't leave. "Just leave me alone." I whispered hating the weakness that cracked my voice.

There was a soft nose that reached my ears. I raised my head slightly to see my backpack on the ground next to me. The guy crouched down in front of me, it was the kid who tried to sit next to me at the lunch table. He had nice green eyes that looked like sunlight on grass, but there was a sadness behind the warm color. I had seen that type of sadness before, that's what I saw in my own eyes every time I looked in the mirror. Eyes were the windows to the soul and I could see the hurt in his eyes even though his face was a mask hiding the hurt and anger in those eyes.

"Thanks." I mumbled unclenching myself and grabbed my bag. I pulled it close to my body. He nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Those kids are dicks, don't let them get to you too much."

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff. "Easy for you to say, you're the new kid who's attractive and exciting because you're a new toy. You can be anyone you want to be, a fresh new start in this shitty school. You can be popular and have a cheerleader girlfriend who will drool all over you, so don't let anyone see you out here with me. You can be king of this school, you have the right look, just give it your best and you can climb to the top of Shit Mountain and rule." I ranted. Once I started I couldn't stop. It was an angry bubble that popped. He remained quiet after my rant, just looking at me. With a slight smile he just shook his head.

"I won't be here for long, my family travels a lot, so I don't care if I'm king of this school, I'm here because I'm ordered to." He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it with reluctance and he pulled me up to a standing position.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I've just been under a lot of stress and hurt lately." I said and slung my backpack on my back. "My best friend was kidnapped, then my sister and I've been having these really weird dreams and…wait, why am I telling you all this?" I babbled, but he didn't seem to mind.

"No, it's okay, tell me what happened, you might feel better to get it all off your chest."

So I did, I told him what happened, every detail and he didn't look at me like I was crazy like everyone else did. He understood, he cared. When I got to my sister, I couldn't help but cry and he opened his arms to me and I leaned into his chest and cried. He didn't pull away, he just stood there holding me while I cried myself out.

Once I got some control of myself I pulled back. "You let me slobber all over you, and I don't even know your name. I'm Paige by the way."

"My name's Dean Winchester."

X-X

Again, I just want to say your life is important, it's been hard on me to write a story like this, I'm glad I am, don't get me wrong, it's just difficult. I hope you will stick around to see what's in store for Paige, I'm almost finished writing it altogether. So people who have followed me from my last story If Only, If Only, I just want to give a special thanks. That was my first Supernatural story, I mostly have done Phantom of the Opera fics so this is a new road for me. I hope you've liked the first chapter!

Desiree'


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Tell me about these dreams you've been having." Dean inquired, but my shields went up immediately. I didn't open up to people. I don't like to share. I have sever trust issues. Shifting slightly I pulled away from Dean and let out an uncomfortable chuckle. He must have sensed my discomfort because he had a slight frown on his face. No way was I going to go into any detail over the weird dreams that plagued my every night. They've gotten so bad that I bought a gun from a guy I knew, he wasn't too happy about selling a gun to someone underage, but he gave in, in the end. I just felt like I was being watched all the time.

"Look I appreciate the fact that you let me have my breakdown, but I don't even know you and now that I've gotten my free food, I'm outta here." I opened my bag and dug around for my keys.

"Skipping school?" He asked, but I didn't hear any judgement in his voice.

"I only come to school for breakfast and lunch now." I retorted with a roll of my eyes. Dean didn't need to know that I was now homeless and lived in my car. After Elizabeth had been taken there wasn't any reason for me to stay at home, but I couldn't bring myself to leave without knowing if Tiffany and Elizabeth were alive. My mom and druggie step-dad weren't out looking for me. I slid into the drivers seat of my car, but Dean stopped the door from closing.

"If you need a place to crash, you can crash with my family. Were over at the Red Door Motel, room 7."

"First of all, regardless from what you've heard, I'm not that type of girl, and what makes you think I need a place to sleep tonight?" I yelled getting back out of my car, the door between us

Dean pointedly looked in the back of my car. It held the open duffle bag with clothes spilling out, my pillow and bunched up sleeping bag.

His eyes met mine. "I know when I meet someone who lives out of a car."

Closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath, my rage building up in my chest. I sat in my seat again and pulled my door close, Dean didn't stop it this time. I stuck up my middle finger looking him in the eyes as I did so, he didn't even flinch. Dean took a step back as I started the car and backed out of the space. Now that I had two free meals it was time to find a nice quiet spot to park and not draw attention to myself.

Usually I went to this little park that had a duck pond. I liked to watch people feed the ducks, people left me alone, and I them. Since I was living in my car I had to break into people's houses to shower, then I would steal non-perishable food so I could eat at night, and cash, but I had to be careful, I didn't want people knowing I broke in to take a shower, so I mostly just took money off the nightstand or if I saw a buck here or there, just take that, but I almost got caught last time, so I felt the park was a safe bet today. The last thing I needed was to get arrested and dragged back to my house.

Sitting down on a bench I dropped my backpack next to me on the bench and pulled out my book. I could easily pass hours reading, which is exactly what I did that afternoon, until it started raining, so I was forced to go back to my car for shelter. When I broke into houses I had to be extra careful and make sure they didn't know I was there, it was a tricky rope I had to balance on, on one hand I needed more money, and food, but to alert people there was someone out there on the prowl would make people lock up tighter and make it harder on myself to get the things I needed. I would mostly take granola bars, and things I could open and eat without heating anything up, I just tried to leave no evidence I was even there.

It was starting to get cold at night, but I couldn't afford to leave my car running. Checking my pocket I only had $3 and I needed gas, it was almost empty, with a sigh I locked the doors and climbed into the back seat wrapping the sleeping bag around me. Now that fall was h ere it got dark so early so I would just sit in the darkness trying to hear anything outside the car until sleep could take me.

Every night since Tiffany had been taken this weird dream plagued me. I could see sense a presence, but when I would look around I couldn't see anything. I would turn my head, but I could feel this presence move out of my line of site, and I could hear it. It almost felt like they were right behind me, I could feel their breath on my neck sometimes, teasing me, then I would wake up and reach behind me to feel the back of my neck, but there was nothing and the feeling of someone watching me would ease up, until I couldn't feel anything anymore.

Except tonight, the feeling of being watched was so strong I crawled out of my sleeping bag and into the front seat. I cranked the key over and got the hell out of there. The light from the street lamps lit up the clock on my dash, showing me that it was 3 in the morning. I didn't know why that feeling was so strong, all I knew was I had to get out of that park ASAP.

The only thing was I didn't know where to go, I just needed to find a safe place for the rest of the night. I was shaken to the very core and wasn't thinking clearly. For some reason I knew I would never go back to that park again. Reasons unknown to my conscience self I ended up driving to the Red Door Motel. I pulled next to a nice black car parked in front of Room 7, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car, especially since I made it very clear to Dean I didn't need or want his help.

The drive was supposed to help me, but I still felt as if I was being watched and I started to panic. Pulling my backpack out I reached down to the bottom and pulled out the gun. I had never actually held or fired a gun before, but having the weight of the weapon in my hand actually helped calm me slightly. Since it was so late, I didn't see anyone walking around and I tried to convince myself no one was out there and I was just freaking myself out, but then I heard something scrape against the back of my car and I let out a scream but when I turned around I didn't see anything.

I closed my eyes tight and tried to calm myself. I propped my back against the door and pulled my knees up to my chest and encircled my head with my arms, my grip still on my gun. That's when the glass shattered and I let out another scream and scrambled away to the passenger side, only to have that glass shatter in front of me, I saw a dark shadow of someone pull the passenger door open.

My heart was beating so hard I stuck out my arm and tried to point my gun and shoot, but it didn't go off. I pulled the trigger again waiting for the boom. Nothing. Strong arms reached in and pulled me almost out of the car, but they let go and I could hear something heavy drop to the ground. I scrambled back to the drivers side and the door was pulled open and once more someone grabbed me and this time they successfully pulled me out of the car. A big hand was slapped over my mouth as I was about to let another scream out and I started to flail around trying desperately to break his hold on me.

"Paige, Paige, it's okay." Dean bellowed as he ran into my line of vision. My heart still raced, and the shock of seeing him made me stop flailing around.

"If I take my hand off your mouth, are you going to scream?" A deep voice asked me. I shook my head no. "Okay, I'm going to set you down then." He warned and slowly lowered me until my feet touched the pavement. I immediately ran to Dean, throwing myself into his arms, his left arm reaching behind my back pulling me close.

"It's okay Paige, your safe now."

X-X

Okay so it's a little bit of an intense chapter, so I hope you like it. Just want to give a special thanks to the people who are now following the story/me, I really appreciate it. Now normally I would post Chapter 3 on Friday, but I'm going to my mom's house for Thanksgiving and will be out of the state, so sorry but you'll have to wait until Monday for the next chapter. I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving, if your in America anyways.

Desiree'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I had no idea why I was seeking comfort from Dean. Maybe it was because he was the only familiar thing in this horror story of a night. Or maybe it was because I was drowning in fear and I saw him as my life preserver, either way, I hung onto him for dear life. I was completely shaken and he tightened his hold on me with his arm trying to stop me from shaking so hard. I turned slightly to see who had been manhandling me moments ago. He was leaning into the front seat of my car, I saw him pull the gun out.

"Who are you and what the hell happened?" I yelled out.

Dean whispered in my ear, "Shh, it's okay, come in and we'll explain." I gulped and nodded.

I knew I had to look completely crazy right now. He led me into Room 7, the man followed, but didn't enter.

"Dean, I have to take care of this. Keep her and Sam safe." He said from the doorway, I saw he was still holding my gun in one hand, and a long blade in the other.

That's when I pulled away from Dean, my breathing getting to a hyperventilation point and for the first time saw Dean holding another long blade in his right hand. My eye's popped out of my head and I backed up towards the bathroom. Dean held out his empty hand to me like he would a scared animal and slowly bent down to drop his knife to the ground.

"Paige, I know how this looks, but trust me, your safe now." Dean told me in a calm voice. That's when I noticed the blood on his shirt and neck. I looked down and saw it on my clothes from where I had been pressed against him. A noise next to me made me yell out. It was a younger kid with shaggy hair sitting at the table with an array of knives laid out on a towel.

The panic within me reached an all-time high. "What are you people?" I chocked out. Blackness started to creep in on me and I felt light headed. Arms encircled me as I gave myself over to the blackness.

When I woke up I could feel a soft bed under me, but I didn't immediately open my eyes. I needed to get a feel for my surroundings so I could make a break for the door, but I didn't hear a lot. In fact, the only thing I could hear was soft breathing coming from the bed next to mine. Did they seriously just go to sleep? Where had all that blood come from? I had heard something heavy hit the pavement, but only saw Dean and the tall man. Desperation stung the back of my throat. It was imperative that I remain clam. I was going to get away from this room and these crazy people in once piece. What type of people did Dean hang out with?

A chair scooted across the floor in the silence and footsteps reached my ears going to what I assumed was the bathroom. Raising my head slightly I opened my eyes and looked around the room and saw the tall man and a younger boy asleep in the bed next to mine. My backpack was on the edge of the bed I was on. I quickly raised up all the way and snatched the bag off the bed and silently made my way to the door.

My car was nowhere to be seen when I opened the door and the panic I was trying to subdue raised its ugly head again. I was going to have to run. I didn't bother closing the door behind me and I bolted towards the road. As much as I didn't want to leave town without finding out what happened to Tiffany and Elizabeth, I was going to have to.

"Paige!" Dean shouted at me from the door of his room. I looked back and saw he was running after me. Running was never my strong point, not that I ever really tried in PE. Dean was catching up to me, but I wasn't going to give up. The sun was just starting to come up, so I had some light to aid in my flight, but in the end it was pointless. Dean grabbed my shoulders and I stumbled to the ground, Dean falling next to me.

"No please, just let me go. I won't say anything, please!" I whimpered.

Dean got up on his feet and braced himself against a wall to catch his breath. "Paige, I'm trying to protect you. I know you don't want to, but trust me, I won't hurt you. We're trying to keep you safe. Come back with me and I can explain everything."

Every fiber of my being was telling me to run and get away from him, but looking into his eyes I could see the truth behind those green orbs, but I didn't move.

"First, tell me who you're with." I demanded.

"The kid is my brother Sam, and the guy is John, my dad."

Okay, so not strangers to him. He was telling the truth about moving a lot with his family. "What the hell happened last night?"

"That's why we're here, please just come back with me and I'll explain everything." He held out his hand to me again. With great reluctance I reached out again and he pulled me up. We walked in silence back to the room, but I couldn't help glancing at him every few steps. This was the first time a guy actually gave me the time of day. Kids at my school avoided me like I was going to give them a fatal disease and even though I was still freaked out, I still felt somewhat safer around him then on my own.

He opened the door and I saw that John and Sam were still asleep. Dean put his fingers to his lips and walked to the table and chairs in the corner.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest with you." Dean whispered. I nodded my head telling him to go on. "My dad is a hunter. We hunt monsters, creatures. We got wind of the kidnappings and made our way here. We found out you were the only witness and my dad sent me in to find out what you knew. We believe vampires are behind this. We're trying to find their nest so we can kill them. We think there taking kids and turning them to grow their family."

While he talked I didn't look away from his eyes. Though he didn't waiver, and his eyes seemed like he was telling the truth, I just couldn't believe it. Monsters like that didn't exist. They didn't need to, People were wicked enough. We were capable of taking lives, rape, theft, why did we need monsters in the mix?

"I don't believe you." I uttered closing my eyes.

"Trust me, I wish this wasn't true, but it is. A vampire attacked you last night and we killed it. I killed it. That's why I was covered in blood. It was following you."

A chill went down my spine. I folded my arms in front of my chest and shivered. Dean moved closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I need you to tell me about your dreams." He whispered in my ear causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach. I turned slightly and opened my eyes to look him straight in the eye.

"A man watches me while I sleep. No matter where I am, but I can't ever see him, no matter how I turn, he's always just out of sight, or right behind me." Another shutter rolled down my body. "Then when I wake up, I feel like there's someone in the room with me."

A sigh escapes his lips and he nods. "I don't think that's a dream." John said from the bed and I jumped. John got out of bed and I saw Sam stretch out under the blankets.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I think a vampire has fallen for you and wants you to turn so you can be together. I think these dreams are real and you man think your dreaming, but you're not. Your vampire is watching you at night. Maybe to keep tabs on you, I don't know, but I don't think your dreaming." John said frankly. "When a vampire falls in love, it's forever."

Dean removed his arm from my shoulder and got up. "Paige said when her friend was taken the vampire told Paige it wasn't her time yet, maybe last night was her time because their getting ready to move on. They've got new recruits and ready to move."

"I've got a pretty good idea where the nest is, I'm going to go end this while their down." John said picking up several long blades. "You know the routine."

Dean nodded and John left. Sam curled up in a ball and was asleep again when I looked at him. "Let's get something to eat." Dean suggested and I nodded. He wrote a quick note for Sam and left it on the nightstand.

"Is he going to be okay alone?" I asked. Dean nodded and grabbed my hand.

X-X

Okay so it's later then I originally wanted to post, but while driving home I was hit with a kidney stone and have been recovering from that, if you've never had one before, your lucky. This was not my first rodeo, I'm just thankful I didn't have to have surgery like the last time I had a kidney stone. So I'm having problems writing the second half of this story, the 'middle' ended in a really good spot so I may change the story around where the 'middle' is now the end. Then if inspiration hits I can do a part 2. Thanks to everyone who has liked and started following the story so far.

Desiree'


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The hotel had a lounge that offered free breakfast, that's where we were headed.

"What if Sam wakes up and you aren't there?" I asked looking back towards the door, my big sister worrying kicked in.

"Trust me, he'll be okay, this is our life, he's used to it."

Well that's depressing. I hated my life, but at least I had some routine, they went from town to town looking for monsters, that had to really suck. Breakfast included stale cereal and juice, they didn't offer much, but it was free food and I didn't turn down free food, I never knew when my next meal was coming from so I took it whenever I could. The lounge was warm and stuffy so I pushed my sleeves up and I saw Dean's eyes linger on the healed cuts on my wrists. I lowered my head in shame and tugged my sleeves back down, I had gotten so comfortable with Dean I had forgotten that he wasn't a part of my life and didn't know my whole story. It almost felt like I was with Tiffany, and of course she knew my story, I just wasn't thinking. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't look up. I kept eating my lousy breakfast.

That was a really low time for me and I almost didn't survive. I managed to pull myself out of that abyss, barely, and the way life has been going, it has pushed me back against that open hole and it's threatening me with a big shove, but Dean didn't ask any questions, and I wasn't about to offer any answers. The only thing that kept me from jumping off the edge was answers about Tiffany and Elizabeth's whereabouts.

My sanity relied on finding them. About half an hour after we left the room Sam sat in the seat next to his brother and Dean ruffled his hair. It was obvious they were close and a knife pierced my heart. Elizabeth deserved a better sister then she had, I have failed her over and over, but she never showed it.

"So what's the process here?" I asked picking at a muffin on my plate.

"Dad went out to clean out the nest, we wait here until he gets back."

"And if he doesn't come back?"

A cloud passed over Dean's face. "He will."

That was the end of the discussion and the rest of the meal was passed in silence. As we got up Sam grabbed my hand and smiled up at me. I could feel the warmth of his hand radiating up into my own arm and I returned his smile with some reluctance, I wasn't quiet as used to Sam as I was with Dean yet.

"It's okay Paige, we do this all the time."

That didn't make me feel any better. Back at the room I grabbed my duffle bag and locked myself in the bathroom. I desperately wanted to loose myself in the hot water and not have to hurry and rush through my shower like I had to the last few weeks. After walking out of the bathroom in fresh clothes I realized I did feel better.

Only Dean was in the room and I raised my eyebrows in question. "Sam's at the park a block down, I promised Dad I wouldn't leave you and I hate being away from Sam, so I hope you're up for the park. Let's go."

That's usually how I spent my day, so I shrugged and followed Dean.

"By the way, where's my car?" I asked remembering it wasn't where I left it from last night.

"Oh, we ditched it, hoping to throw the vamps with your scent."

With a sigh I nodded my head, getting it back was going to be a challenge, and if it had been towed away impossible. I couldn't go to the impound lot because I didn't have any money and they would try to take me back to my mother, and that wasn't going to happen. Ever. Dean may be used to all this monster stuff, but I wasn't, and it was taking me a while to adjust to it. I didn't like change.

"You know I don't judge you." Dean said softly.

I'm not sure why, but tears welled up in my eyes. Why did he have to be so nice to me? I didn't know how to deal with that.

"Don't be so nice to me." I muttered and wrapped my arms around my chest.

Dean stopped walking and grabbed my shoulders and turned me around so we were facing.

"Paige, you deserve more then what you've had to deal with. I can't tell you that your life will be sunshine and roses but we can help you, tell me and we'll make sure your somewhere safe when this is all over and done with."

That's when I broke down and for the second time in 2 days I cried while he held me close. I told him everything. I told him about my mom marrying a drug addict so he could keep her always supplied and how he raped and abused me, the kids at school and how they bullied me, my drinking to try and block the pain, getting arrested for theft and finally trying to kill myself. I completely bared my soul to him. He didn't interrupt me once while I was talking, just let me get it all out. I was grateful that I couldn't see his eyes, I don't know how I would have coped with seeing pity in them. After getting everything out in the open I felt better. I've never even told Tiffany everything, she knew most of it, but not everything.

We once again resumed our walk to join Sam at the park and found an empty bench to watch him play on the monkey bars. He was the oldest kid out there and I don't think he normally played at the park anymore, but it looked more like he just wanted to get out of the hotel room. Dean sat close and put his arm around my shoulders keeping me close. This was a new feeling for me. I actually felt safe with him. Tiffany had accepted me as I am, but she didn't know everything. He did and still wanted to be around me.

It was comforting to watch Sam play like there was nothing wrong, and I actually smiled. This was their life, they could still know about the monsters out there in the world, but they could forget about that sometimes, forget the tragedies in their lives and just play.

"Is he alwa" I started out, but Dean's lips pressed against mine cutting off my words and I jumped slightly. I've never kissed anyone before, I've had lips pressed to mine before, but it was always against my will. His lips were soft against mine, not demanding, tender.

"Eww, Paige. You don't have to stoop to kissing him." Sam yelled out.

I pulled away from Dean, blushing. Dean just chuckled lightly but didn't pull his arm away from mine, just held me closer. After a while Sam got tired and wanted to go back to the room, so we made our way back, his arm still around my shoulders. It was a different feeling for me to have someone want me, yet make no demands. After a few feet Sam grabbed my free hand, causally walking next to me, sandwiching me between the two brothers.

Time seemed to drag on and even though Sam and Dean showed no worry on the outside, I felt like Dean was suffering on the inside. I knew I was and I didn't even know John. Lunch consisted of sandwiches and Sam sat in front of the television to pass away time. Dean sat next to me at the table.

Kissing wasn't my forte, so I was worried. Did we need to talk about it? Just forget about it? Was it him feeling sorry for me? Pity? I don't know if I had zoned out, but Dean pressed his lips against mine once more jarring me back to reality.

Not that I had any experience with kissing, but I liked kissing Dean. Sam paid us no attention, which was just fine with me. This time when I pulled away I didn't blush. I had no ideas about this was. He had made it very clear they were moving on when this was all finished. Dean did say they would make sure I was taken care of. Could I possible convince John to take me with them? Would I even want to live like that? No. I didn't want to live my life hunting monsters even if that meant I could stay with Dean and Sam, who was starting to really grow on me. Plus I had to believe Tiffany and Elizabeth were okay.

Tiffany and I had talked about running away sometimes, but I always told her I couldn't leave Elizabeth behind. I made sure that Robert, my step-dad, didn't touch my sister, I took on that responsibility to save her. He said if I didn't tell anyone what he did that he wouldn't touch Elizabeth. From time to time he would remind me that if I made any threats, if I ever did anything to rebel against him or tell he would do the same to Elizabeth, so I kept my mouth shut to protect her. Tiffany may have been a small rebel compared to me, so I couldn't ask her to give up her life to always be on the run until we turned 18 and could be free.

Dean and I sat on the couch next to Sam and he held my hand. We watch television to pass the time and as it started to get dark, Dean became fidgety. I thought John would have been back by now. Dinner consisted of frozen burritos heated in the microwave. All three of us were tired of watching mind numbing T.V. so Sam had suggested a card game. We played poker for hours playing with pretzel sticks as our currency. I lost spectrally, but Sam and Dean were teaching me and by the end I was actually getting kind of good.

Eventually I could barely keep my eyes open, so Dean ushered Sam into bed and I climbed into the other. Nights were hard for me now. I dreaded the night and the dreams, no not dreams, that followed. John said he thought this vampire actually stood over me, just watching. That's just beyond creepy.

Dean started to move to the couch, but I grabbed his hand.

"Please don't make me sleep alone, I just don't think I can cope." Desperation was thick in my voice. Dean nodded and crawled in next to me. I knew he knew nothing was going to happen, but I kissed him again. I needed to feel something besides fear.

"What if he comes back?" I whimpered.

Dean held me close. "He won't, I promise, go to sleep, I'll keep you safe."

With that I rested my head on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Only moments ago I felt like I could have fallen asleep standing up, but now I just couldn't imagine closing my eyes, the fear inside me was too great.

X-X

So now you have a little background into Paige's life. Again, I just want to remind anyone who's reading this, your life is worth saving, if your having thoughts of harm please contact someone, myself, anyone. I've been dealing with my depression for a while and having a hard time, which is why this story came about, so please just talk to someone. I hope your liking the story and a big shout out to everyone who started following the story! Let me know what you think so far!

Desiree'


	5. Chapter 5

Okay so a few days late on posting on Monday, but I got hit with another kidney stone...two in two weeks!

X-X

Chapter 5

Regardless of Dean saying I was safe, I couldn't make my eyes close. The room was filled with the light breathing of sleep from the two boys. How were they able to live this type of life and still act relatively normal? At school Dean would have fit right in with the 'popular' kids, how did he manage that? They see real horrors in life, granted so have I, just different horrors.

Being with Dean just felt easy. Tiffany was my best friend, but I still had to try. She did make me feel better about me as a whole, but when I would have a low moment, I could see it in her eyes that it worried her that I was upset and it would bother her, so I tried to be a happier, less depressed person when I was around her. Dean seemed to get it though. All of the sharing was on my side, he hasn't told me anything about himself really, but I could see abuse in his eyes. I didn't think it was physical abuse, just emotional, which could be just as devastating as physical abuse, sometimes worse. Bones and cuts healed pretty quickly, emotional abuse, you might not ever get over that.

I've seen that mask that Dean put's on. It's the 'I'm trying to be a happy person' mask, I wear it every day. It's hard to keep it in place for so long so Dean has to have a good outlet to vent all that frustration. I've not managed to find my good outlet, well one that doesn't involve harming myself anyways. After a good 30 minutes of listening to the peaceful sounds of sleep from them I knew I wasn't going to see sleep in my future.

As quietly as I could I pulled away from the warm embracing arms that tried to lull me to sleep. I knew better than to venture away from the room. I knew nothing about the monsters that roamed our town freely, plus it would just be flat out stupid to leave. I found my gun on the top of the table and picked it up. I still didn't know why it didn't work when I tried to fire it.

"You know it works better when the safety is off." Dean yawned from the bed making me jump and almost drop the gun. I had no idea he was awake, he hadn't moved at all. "Good thing for me I guess, you were aiming at me by the way."

"No, I was trying to shoot whatever was attacking me." I replied with a roll of my eyes.

Dean shifted in bed and laced his fingers together and moved them behind his head.

"I had already ganked him, you were aiming at me." He said it so coolly. How could him killing be like nothing to him? He may as well have just told me he tied his shoes.

I guess I hadn't realized Dean was the one to put that vampire down, I had just assumed it was John who had done it. My stomach turned over slightly. Was he a different person to me now? No. Besides it wasn't some cold blooded murder of a human, this monster was attacking someone and he saved me. Did that make him a hero? Would it have been different if it was a human and it was cold blooded murder? Maybe, but I didn't want to think about that right now.

"How do you manage?" I whispered.

"It's what I do, this this is my life, has been since I was a kid." Dean said with a shrug.

I learned long ago that silence makes people uncomfortable. Just be patient when you want to find out something, you make them say it with silence. I raised my eyebrows slightly and just looked at him. Almost immediately he started to squirm. Patience. Dean let out a loud sigh and sat up. Aggravation was clear on his face.

"I don't have to cope, I just do. When I get told to keep Sammy safe, I do it. If he tells me not to let you out of my sight, I don't. That's it. Nothing to explain. I do as I'm told."

Dean's breathing was erratic and he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. I gently placed the gun back on the table and moved next to Dean on the bed. I placed my hand over his.

"You know I'm pretty messed up too, you really don't need to hide that ways. I have and it's not pretty when it finally comes out." I flipped my hand over so my scars were visible. He lightly touched my wrist and a shudder ran through his body.

Without warning his hand cupped my face and his lips were one mine. Every thought was pushed from my mind when his lips were glued to mine. At that moment nothing else mattered, his hands roamed my body. I never knew kisses could be tender, hands soft as they moved of me. All I ever got was hard grasps and pinches. At least during moments like this. Sometimes it was worse, slaps and punches. A shutter ran through my body making Dean pull away from me.

The look of sorrow on Dean's face pierced my heart. He knew what I had been through and I could see guilt written all over his face. He may not have known in exact detail, no, but the experience I've been through.

"Paige, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

I scooted back on the bed until my back hit the wall and I pulled my knees up to my chest. This was my go to move when the world was too much for me to handle. Tiffany was the one who suggested it. She said I could shield myself from the world around me. It worked. Of course I was shutting the world out when I did this. I placed my forehead on my knees not knowing why I was reacting like this. This was nice, this is what I should be used to, but instead I only knew hurt. I didn't know how to handle this.

Those soft kisses actually brought me job and longing for a would I've never been shown before. It shouldn't bring up memories I want to forget. It's not Dean's fault my life is so damaged. I could feel the bed shift under his weight as he moved coming closer to me. I could almost sense his hand reaching out to me, but I never felt his touch. Suddenly the bed adjusted where he bolted off the bed, moving away from me. Moments later I heard the bathroom door shut softly.

I didn't mean to shut him out. My mind and body was currently at odds with each other. My mind could only remember the horrors of my past, yet my body was remember the soft caresses from him, not the hardship my body has been through.

My body was screaming out for sleep. I uncurled myself crawling under the blankets. I curled up into a little ball. Sleep teased me flirting around the edge of my brain. Time ticked on slowly and after an hour I head the door to the bathroom open. I raised my head off the pillow and Dean stopped in his tracks. He was like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I still need you to keep me safe." I whispered, a ghost of a smile on my face.

He returned the small smile and took tentative steps towards the bed. Slowly he climbed in next to me. I immediately rolled over and got closer to him. He once more put a protective arm around me.

"I may be broken, but I don't need you to fix me." I whispered.

That was me telling him I was okay. I wasn't mad, or hurt. I worked through these emotions. I wasn't saying I wouldn't ever have another breakdown like that again, but I would be okay with him if he ever wanted to kiss me again. Of course after what had just happened I probably scared him away for good. He may just be holding onto me because he was ordered to keep me and his little brother safe. That honestly wouldn't surprise me. People found it hard to be around me.

It wasn't long after Dean held me again that sleep finally took me into its loving embrace. I wasn't sure if Dean slept again or not, but I do know that my 'dreams' didn't plague me. For the first time in weeks I had a dreamless sleep.

X-X

So I hope your enjoying the story so far! Let me know :D

Desiree'


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: Again, we are going to be talking about suicide, please know you are not alone in this world, even if it feels like you are, please contact someone, anyone.

X-X

Chapter 6

When I awoke the next morning the bed was empty and panic crept into my heart. I sat up quickly only to see Sam and Dean looked at me in surprise. My heart immediately stopped racing seeing the two boys still in the room. Of course they wouldn't leave, their dad wasn't there and Dean said he would protect me. Not that I knew him really well…or at all in fact, I still put my stupid bleeding, deep caring heart into his hands. I felt a huge breath of relief escape my trembling lips. I really wish I wasn't so completely dependent on people, I really shouldn't after the things I've been through, so basically I have a hard time trusting people, yet I'm dependent on them…yeah that's messed up. "I thought…" I started, but let my words trail off.

Sam with his cute puppy dog face turned so was practically hanging off the back of the couch. "Don't worry Paige, we wouldn't leave you behind, besides Dean would at least want one last kiss." Sam then started making kissy noises at Dean who rolled his eyes and pushed his head until he fell back on the couch, my face going red. Dean's eyes reached mine and he gave me a small shrug and a smile. It was clear how close they were.

"So, uh, what are we doing today?" I asked and started gathering my bush hair into a ponytail. It was all over the place and for the first time I realized how much of a mess I must look right now.

"We should probably stay in the room today." Dean said and I saw him glance quickly at the door.

I could tell it was really bothering him that his dad wasn't back yet. I nodded my head and moved to the edge of the bed. I walked to the mirror over the sink and groaned slightly. My eyeliner was smeared down my eyes, giving me the look of a raccoon rather than a teenager. I turned the tap on and ran a washcloth under the water waiting for it to warm up and started to attack my face cleaning away the black from around my eyes. Once I was finished my face had a pinkish glow from being scrubbed so hard.

Reaching down I grabbed my backpack and stepped into the bathroom for a shower. My hair wasn't cooperating with my hair time, it needed to be soaked and let dry before it would be manageable. As soon as I made my way back into the room I could feel Dean's eye's on me. I wish he would though, it made me nervous. People looking at me made me feel like they needed something from me. Dean was different though. He wouldn't take advantage of me like my step-dad had. Tiffany always told me to open up more, but every time I did at least try I ended up getting clobbered, emotionally and sometimes physically. After 16 years of pain, I've gotten the hint from the world…no…Dean's different, please for the love of God let him be different. As much as I wanted to guard my heart I felt it slowly slipping out of my tight grasp and into Dean's hands.

Without looking at Dean I started brushing my teeth and I could feel his gaze pierce me. I looked in the mirror to see him looking and me and I blushed. As soon as our eyes met, he pushed himself off the couch and made his way over to me at the sink.

"Could you not look at me while I do this?" I asked after spitting out my toothpaste.

"Why not?" He asked, a grin split out on his face. I rinsed my toothbrush out and stuffed it back in my backpack and grabbed the small bag that had my makeup.

"It's not a very attractive picture." I mumbled as I leaned closer to the mirror to apply eyeliner.

"Well I guess you should see it from my view." He replied and I shot my eyes over in the mirror to see him looking pointedly at my ass with a huge grin on his face. I had been leaning over the counter so my ass was pretty much just sticking out. I couldn't help it, I laughed and pushed his shoulder with a roll of my eyes and set back to the task at hand.

"You think you're too cute don't you?" I said as I laid my eyeliner aside and started on my eye shadow.

Dean turned his body so he was looking in the mirror, he ran his hand over his cheeks and chin. "I think I'm adorable." This caused me to roll my eyes once more, but laughter erupted from me none the less. I put a touch of plush on and finished it off with mascara. I felt a tad more human now, my hair was still wet, but it was best to just let it air dry, but I felt jittery, so I scrunched it up a few times and put my makeup back bag back into my backpack. I tossed it out of the way into the bathroom.

"All finished?" Dean asked and I gave him a shy smile and nodded my head. Dean leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips, lingering there long enough for my heart so start fluttering in my chest. "Just so you know, you looked beautiful before you painted your face for the day." Dean whispered in my ear after he pulled back, then turned and walked back to the couch to sit on the couch. Sam was sitting near the other end eating a bowl of cereal.

I stood there dumbfounded for a few moments, the heat rising in my cheeks. No guy had ever called me beautiful before, let alone with my face all icky from having slept in my makeup. I slowly made my way to the couch where Dean patted the empty space between him and Sam. I gave him another small smile and sat next to him. He immediately draped his arm over my shoulders and scooted closer to me. This is what I imagined a first date would be like, hanging out, watching T.V. kind of awkward. Was this what it was like to be normal?

Of course this wasn't exactly normal, I mean my best friend and sister were kidnapped by vampires, we were stranded in a dingy hotel until John got back, and I was being threatened by a vampire. My mind started to wander about what I was going to do once their dad came back. I knew they were leaving, and the longer Tiffany and Elizabeth were gone just left a smaller window of opportunity of them being rescued. I may need to start coming to grips with that possibility. A shiver wend down my spine at that thought and Dean looked at me with concern. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. Sam must have noticed me shaking because he put his empty bowl down on the floor and scooted closer to me, laying his head on my shoulder.

Dean looked at me, but I shook my head. Things were starting to feel normal, and I didn't want to live in sorrow yet. The news was on T.V. so I turned my attention to that, even though I wasn't really paying attention. Eventually daytime T.V. came on so Sam changed the channel to some type of nature show, again I didn't really pay attention to it. Sam perked his head up from my shoulder and suggested poker again.

We had nothing but time, and I think we were all tired of T.V. so we played another rousing game of Texas Hold 'em, again the boys beat me, but not as bad as last night. Eventually Sam got up to use the bathroom and I looked at Dean.

"Be straight with me, how likely is it that my best friend and sister are alive?" I asked in a whisper.

Dean let out a sigh and I should have known right then that this conversation was only going to bring me pain. He reached out and placed his hand over mine on the table. "Paige, I'm sorry, most likely they are not alive." Though the words ripped a jagged hole in my heart I could see that Dean was in fact sorry about the news he was telling me.

As much as I told myself not to cry, I couldn't help it. A dam burst and tears poured down my cheeks. It was at this time that Sam came out of the bathroom and he walked up behind me hugging me from behind. A sob escaped my mouth and I got up and returned his hug. It was kind of awkward because I had to lean down to hug him back. Moments later I felt Dean's strong hands on my shoulders and I let go of Sam and buried my face in his chest letting the sobs rack my body.

This wasn't something I could deal with. I quickly pushed myself away from Dean and bolt for the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me, the sobs ripping themselves from my chest. The knob rattled where Dean was trying to get in.

"Go away Dean." I sobbed, but I didn't hear his footsteps leave, just a small thump telling me he sat down outside of the locked door. After what felt like hours my tears dried up. My whole body felt wasted.

My backpack was still in the bathroom and I pulled it over to me. There was only one thing that would help me right now. I felt down to the bottom and found a little tin box. I opened it and picture of Tiffany and me fell out. I wasn't expecting that. I picked it up and turned it over, on the back was a note, it said: You don't have to do this, next time you feel like hurting yourself, come find me. I love you. Tiff." In the box was where I kept my razors. Tiffany must have found it and put that picture in to stop me from cutting myself. A sob rose in my chest again. I sounded like a wounded animal.

"Paige?" I heard Dean call out softly on the other side of the door, but I ignored him. I still couldn't get over this picture and the note on the back. I couldn't come to her and talk, she was dead. I rolled my sleeve up, grabbed the razor and slid it across my arm, I needed to feel something besides sorrow and pain was the next best thing.

X-X

So I hope you enjoy the longer chapter. It wasn't originally supposed to be this long, but once I started to type it up, more and more just came out, so enjoy! I hope everyone is liking the story so far, and thanks to everyone who has started to follow and like the story!


	7. Chapter 7

Again, I am going to give fair warning. This chapter does contain attempted suicide, please be aware of that. Also know that if you do have thoughts of suicide please reach out to someone, your life is important, even if you don't think it is.

X-X

Chapter 7

Normally when I couldn't cope with the world around me I turned to cutting and usually it only took 1 quick slice to help me and make me okay with whatever was going on, but 1 cut wasn't going to cut it today. I was numb and could barely feel it. I needed the physical pain to help me get over the emotional pain. I set the razor to my skin and drew it across again, going deeper this time…still nothing. Blood gently trickled down my arm.

My tears started flowing again. I needed another. Once more I dragged the blade against my numb skin, again, again, and again. Still nothing. This was the most I had ever done at one time and blood was flowing freely now and I knew I needed to stop because I was starting to feel slightly woozy. With slow movements I ran my blade under water and put it up. I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see how pale I was. I mean I am always pale, but I was scary pale. I dully looked at my arm dripping blood from each thin slice on my arm.

I should try to stop the blood, but I couldn't bring myself to grab a towel. Blackness slowly moved its way into my vision and I didn't fight it. I felt the world tip, it looked like the world was coming up to me. I was wrong. I fell to it with a thump, the blackness caressing me like an old friend and I gave myself over to it gladly. The only thing that ruined it was a loud thumping noise, but I was too far gone to ever care.

My head still felt woozy and I was slightly sick to my stomach. The bathroom floor was surprisingly soft and I could have sworn I fell face forward, not backwards, but I was clearly laying on my back. It also felt like I had damaged my right arm, it pinched painfully, almost like I was laying on it, but no. I wiggled my fingers gently. I wasn't laying on it after all.

"Dean, she's waking up." A voice yelled out above me. I knew that voice, but I couldn't picture a face, it reminded me of something innocent…a puppy.

Soft fingers grasped my hand. It took a lot of effort to open my eyes, I felt so drained, so tired, but when I did I was rewarded with the sight of crystal sharp green eyes looking down at me in concern.

"Paige, I'm sorry, I knew I shouldn't have left you alone."

Confusion went through me, then recognition. Dean, and the voice from before, Sam.

"What happened?" I asked and was surprised at how ragged my voice sounded.

That's when everything came back to me. I had tried to kill myself. That might not have been my immediate intention, but I didn't stop, I didn't try to slow the bleeding. I sat up slightly and Dean put another pillow behind my back. There was someone else in the room, two someone's actually. John was back, but then someone else. I turned my gaze from the stranger back to Dean.

"It's okay Paige, that's Bobby. After you passed out I broke the door and saw you, so Sam called Bobby, he doesn't live too far away and dad wasn't back yet, so I didn't know what to do. Bobby rushed over. He's the one who stitched you up and started the blood transfusion."

I looked at my left arm to see gauze taped over it and a needed sticking out of the crook on my right arm.

"Dad showed up about an hour ago." Sam said and grabbed my other hand. I gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand back.

Looking over at John I felt the color drain from my face, he looked pissed. He practically was smoldering, so I moved my gaze away, I couldn't stand to have him look at me like that. Finally I tore my gaze back to Dean, the tears pricking my eyes again.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered out and both Sam and Dean moved in to hug me, one boy for each arm. I held onto both of them like my life depended on it…and I guess it did in that moment.

"You're just lucky you didn't do more damage then you did." John said coolly from the end of the bed.

"Give her a break John, you know what she's been through, and she's just a kid." Bobby said softly.

John let out an irritant huff. My tears ran dry and I pulled back from the boys. We were still in the same room as before, but now the adjourning room door was open and I saw John stalk through the open door into the vacant room. I felt a light pat on my foot and looked up to see Bobby.

"You're just about done on that transfusion and should be good to go tomorrow."

I nodded my head and Bobby followed John into the next room. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could hear their hushed tones. Sam's lanky arms circled my neck again and held me tight for a moment, then pulled back and followed his dad into the other room leaving Dean and I alone. He was still seated next to me on the bed.

"I swear, that wasn't my original intention." I whispered to Dean.

He grasped my hand again and brought it up to his lips and kissed it.

"I should have given you more hope, not been as blunt."

"No Dean, this was on me, don't blame yourself." I replied and placed my hand on his cheek. His eyes held so much self-doubt and dejection in them.

Sleep pulled my eyelids down, but I fought them, I still needed answers.

"Dean, your dad being back, that must mean he found the place where the vampires were staying…what happened? Why was he gone for so long?"

"Well the nest was harder to find, he thought he had it, but it was a trap. Once a vampire has your scent, they will hunt you forever, so he was trying to stay one step ahead of them. Eventually he found the right place. He had a couple of close calls, but finally killed them all."

"Tiff? Elizabeth?" I asked trying not to get my hope up.

Dean shook his head softly. "I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes, blocking out the world. Dean sucked in a breath, like he was going to say something, but changed his mind. I didn't know if I wanted to know, so I didn't press it.

"Were leaving tomorrow." Dean whispered.

My eyes flew open to see Dean hanging his head, not looking at me. Dean told me from the start they would be leaving, but I still felt like he had crushed what was left of my shattered heart, crushing it into dust. "Oh."

"I asked if we could stay for a while, but dad already found a new case." Dean explained still not raising his head.

As much as I felt like I wanted to cry, throw something, scream, I didn't. If this was going to be the last time I saw Dean I wanted it to be filled with nice memories, not bad. I reached out and placed my fingers under his chin, pushing his face up gently and placed my lips against his softly. I knew nothing about what love was, any type of physical contact I had ever had, shouldn't have ever happened. I was in uncharted territory here. I tried to put as much as I could into that kiss. This was me telling him how I cared for him, how I didn't blame him and above all else, how I would never forget him. Dean seemed to get it, and pulled me even closer.

I pulled back when I heard someone clear their throat softly from the open door. It was Bobby. He walked over to me and removed my IV and bandaged me up. My cheeks were red. He gripped my hand lightly. "You should get some sleep." I nodded my head. "Take this, it will help you sleep." He gave me a pill and a glass of water and left. I swallowed it and placed the glass on the table.

"Are you going to be able to stay with me tonight?" I whispered as I laid down in bed again. Dean smiled, but it was a sad smile and he nodded.

"Let me tuck Sam in."

Sam came back into the room, gave me another hug, and laid down on the bed next to mine, and Dean mad sure he was settled in and returned to my bed crawling in next to me. I turned to the side to look at Dean and he pulled me close. "Go to sleep." Dean murmured, my eyes already slipping close.

X-X

I hope your liking the story so far, it's almost finished so let me know. I haven't honestly even attempted to finish the second half of the story, so if/when I do complete it I shall just post it as a new story. Thanks to the people who have been following the story!

Desiree'


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

My eyes slowly opened. I had slept like a rock, the medication Bobby gave me really did knock me out. I rolled over, but Dean wasn't there. I turned my head to see Sam's bed empty too. Maybe they were already up and getting food. I saw up still feeling groggy and yawned. "Dean? Sam?" I called out softly.

Bobby walked out of the adjuring room looking awkward. "Morning, uh they actually ain't here. They hit the road at dawn. John told me we needed to get you to a safe place, that your folks….well, that you need something better. Safer."

I stared at him stupidly. Did he just say they were gone? They already left? No. Dean wouldn't leave without telling me goodbye. Of course it wasn't up to Dean. It was up to John. He made it very clear he wasn't happy with me. "Sorry kiddo, Dean was against it, and Sam, but well…he told me left you a letter in your pack. Whenever you're up to it, we can hit the road. I've made some calls and I know a nice family who understands…this life, they said they can help out, look after you, keep you safe."

I nodded my head feeling completely broken. I pulled my knees up to my chest and a few tears slipped out of my closed eyelids. I didn't want to have my heart in Dean's unavailable hands, but I couldn't help it. How could I not fall for the first guy who ever remotely cared about me, or showed feelings for me? My whole life has been one giant ball of abuse and loathing. I was ripe for heartache from the beginning.

My body was so spent. I just couldn't cry anymore. My life was completely different now. I needed to make changes in my life. The me I knew was dead. With a deep sigh I got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom, the door was indeed broken. Dean really did a number to get to me, there was no way it would close and stay closed, so a shower for me was out. I just washed my face and tied my hair back as best as I could. I was ready to leave this all behind me.

Walking back to the bed I pulled my backpack towards me and opened it. I was searching for the tin that held my razors, but it was missing, they must have taken it. That's fine, I was going to leave it behind, but the picture of Tiffany and me was tucked in the bottom, the letter Bobby told me Dean left me was there as well. With trembling hands I opened it.

Paige,

Trust me, I wanted to wait to tell you goodbye in person, Sam too, but Dad wouldn't hear it. I'm sorry. Meeting you was actually a highlight. Normally I don't make any real connections to people because I knew I'm going to have to leave, but I'm actually glad I did. Sorry this chick stuff isn't me.

Just take care of yourself, if you ever want or need to get in touch with me, write to Bobby and he'll get it to me. I won't forget about you. Trust him, he'll look out for you, I promise.

Dean W.

Silently I folded the letter and placed that, and my picture back in my backpack. I walked into Bobby's room and we were off. The drive was mostly in silence and slightly awkward. Dean told me I could trust Bobby, so I was trying too, but trust was an issue with me. After a few hours we pulled over to use the bathroom and get something to eat, then we hit the road again. After another few hours we pulled into a nice looking ranch style house away from the main part of town. It was actually several miles away from town.

While in the car I wanted nothing more than to get away from Bobby, but now that we were here, I wanted to say with him. We pulled up a long driveway and the closer we got, the more nervous I got until I was practically shaking. Bobby grabbed my pack for me and walked up to the door.

A middle aged nice looking couple opened the door all smile and handshakes. Todd and LeeAnn were their names. Apparently they were hunters, found each other and wanted out, so they did, but kept in touch with other hungers. They all walked me upstairs to a room with a full sized bed, a dresser and a small vanity. Everything I owned fit in a backpack, it wasn't long to unpack. It seems like Dean trusts Bobby, and Bobby trusts Todd and LeeAnn, so I needed to try and open up and trust them.

After dropping my empty bag to the floor I laid face down on the bed. I was 16, I didn't need to be here forever, even if these people rub me the wrong way I could just leave. Kids ran away all the time, but I wanted a normal regular life. Not that I thought my mom was actually looking for me, but I was going to have to be on the run until I turned 18, that was two years of running and always looking over my shoulder. I didn't want that.

Plus Dean did tell me to take care of myself, it would be hard to do that if I ran away, no money, no car, no education, I wouldn't get far. I kept them waiting long enough, so with a heave heart I heaved myself off the bed and slowly walked down the stairs, they were sitting on the couch talking, but fell silent when I came into the room.

"All settled in then?" Bobby asked and I nodded my head. He stood up and walked my way and handed me an envelope. "In this is my address, you need anything, let me know, don't be a stranger kiddo." I met his gaze and gave him a small smile. He waved and headed out to his car. He was almost there when I ran out the door.

"Bobby wait." I yelled out. He turned back to me and I flew down the stairs and flung my arms around his middle. He seemed slightly shocked but after a moment wrapped his arms around me as well. "If you see him, tell him…thanks. Will you do that for me?" I asked my face plastered in his chest.

"Course I will. Like I said, anything at all, write." I nodded my head and unwrapped myself and turned to walk back into the house. Todd and LeeAnn were waiting patiently for me.

We settled down in the front room and started to tell me what they were like. Maybe I could be happy here. I highly doubted Dean would let Bobby take me to people who wouldn't treat me okay. Our last moments we were together I could feel that he cared about me. Maybe as much as I cared about him. I wouldn't go as far as to say I loved him, that he loved me, but I knew I would never forget the time I spent with him. He showed me that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and people weren't always out to get me.

"First things first, I want to know how to protect myself. You two were…hunters. Can you teach me?"

The couple smiled at each other. "Of course, we might be out of the game now, but we still keep sharp. We'll teach you what we know and keep you safe."

A sigh of relief escaped my lips. Maybe this could work. Maybe I could finally be safe here. "Let's get started then."

X-X

Well that's it, I hope you enjoy the story, let me know!

Desiree'


	9. Chapter 9

So I had originally decided to have this story be one big story, and at the halfway point I got writers block, and my work life has been shit. It still is, but I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I have had a muse and continued the story like I originally planned!

X-X

Chapter 9

"I don't know Bobby, it seems kinda fishy to me, it just…" I paused. I didn't want to say it out loud because then it would just be final, and I was going to have someone come in and investigate it. I just didn't want this to be happening all over again.

"Yeah?" Bobby inquired.

"Well it just reminds me of when I was a kid." I finished with fear in my chest. Phantom, my dog, whined on the floor sensing my discomfort. I chewed on my lower lip.

"Okay, I'll send someone by, check things out, make sure your safe."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Bobby, just whoever is closest, I don't want anyone to go out of their way."

"Come on kiddo, I'm sure it's nothing, but if you're worried then there's no harm to check it out, just be careful and keep your eyes open." There was worry in Bobby's voice.

"I'm not a kid anymore Bobby." I reminded him just to hear him laugh on the other end.

"Don't matter, your still a kid to me, just keep yourself out of trouble? Okay?"

"Of course, thanks Bobby."

I hung up the phone feeling better. I looked at the paper in front of me, another girl had been kidnapped, and this was the 3rd one in a month. It was too familiar to what happened to me 10 years ago and a shiver went down my spine. I folded the paper and stacked it on top of the other papers with the stories of kidnapped girls. I bit my lip again. I couldn't bring myself to tell Bobby all the news, especially about what happened last night.

This was the first time I had the dream that I was being watched, but last time it wasn't a dream. I really did believe it was just a dream. I remember feeling like those 'dreams' felt so real, and it's because they were and my conscious self just didn't want to cope. This one was different, it was like I was watching this guy watch me while I slept, like I was in two places in the dream.

Todd and LeAnn really helped me, they knew how damaged I was when Bobby dropped me off on their doorstep and they seemed completely okay with what they had to deal with and they may not have been hunters anymore, but they were still prepared and kept their house safe. They taught me all they knew as well. Maybe a little too well because I was now looking for cases around my town now, but I couldn't just let it go. Bobby was going to pass it to people who could take care of it and maybe this time spare someone the heartache that I had to go through. I slept a little better that night knowing someone was on their way.

When I woke I felt better that the world was about to be protected from the monsters of the world, I had to get ready for real life, and that meant a job. I made myself get up from the table and as soon as I stood up Phantom padded along next to me. Not that I didn't know my way around weapons, I did, but he was just an extra layer of protection, plus he kept me from getting too lonely.

After 10 years I felt like I've healed a lot and I completely owe that to Todd, LeAnn and most of all, Bobby. I have never cut myself after that night and I actually enjoy my life now. I still have trust issues, but I at least try. I've been in a few relationships, but in the end, they weren't for me.

Before leaving for work I checked my windows to make sure they were locked, and added a line of salt in front of the ledges since I had cleaned them this morning. Then I made sure to take Phantom for his morning walk. Because of Todd and LeAnn I had a good education, and now a good job because of that education. I was a social worker who focused on kids. I tried to keep other kids away from the abuse and neglect that I was forced to endure. I may not fight the things that go bump in the night, but I fought the maniacs who tried to hurt kids and I was damn god at it. Kids have a keen sense and they could see that I was there for them, and actually cared, and they could sense I had been in their shoes before.

My job gave me purpose. I was doing good in the only way I knew how. Everywhere I went I was well prepared to keep myself safe. I knew there were other monsters out there than just vampires, but they frightened me the most and I always had a syringe of deadmen's blood on me, and a Glock. My apartment was better stocked. I always had plenty of salt on hand, a shotgun under my bed and in my front room closet. A machete under the couch and a handgun in every room, plus a few knives of silver stashed around the place. I was prepared for anything, plus Phantom. He kept me safe from the non-supernatural monsters.

Guys didn't really approach a girl who kept a full grown German Shepard on her heel. The funny thing though, kids loved him. He was a big scary dog, but whenever I would talk to kids they always looked like they were just itching to get their hands on his thick fur and maybe because I had raised him since he was a puppy and always brought him with me on my job he was only ever playful around kids.

There was this one case I was working on that was nasty. I had been called in because the kid had been given a school project about family. They could write a story, or draw a picture, well the kids wrote a story about dinner time and how she could only eat after getting naked. It was rather odd, so the teacher go ahold of the right people and I had been called in. Apparently the dad had been molesting the girls who were only 8 and 5. They had to sit at the table naked, if they didn't, well they didn't eat. The sick bastard thought of this as foreplay because he would 'clean' the kids up by licking all the food they spilled off their bodies.

He is currently behind bars and the mom is being questioned, though I actually think she had no clue since she worked the night shift at the local hospital. Right now they are in protective custody and a mess of paperwork waited for me on my desk. I tried not to let it get too out of hand. One thing that helped me cope with everything running through my mind was lists. LeAnn suggested lists to me so I can put all my thoughts in order. I know that people I work with like me, but call me OCD and I was cool with that. Yeah I was OCD, I like things in order and it helped my racing mind.

It was about lunch time when April came into my office. She was a friend that I had met at work.

"Ready for lunch?" April asked poking her head into my office. I looked up from my computer and Phantom got up and padded his way to her, giving her a sniff, then walked back to my desk. "See, he's ready to go too…come on! I'm starving." She wailed and held onto the door jamb.

I rolled my eyes but smiled nonetheless. "You're so dramatic." I huffed and locked my computer. I grabbed my bag and Phantom's leash and walked out of my office, pausing to lock the door behind me.

"You really don't need to lock that you know, trust me, no one would dare mess up your office." April informed me.

"Yeah? Why is that?" I inquired as she linked her arm through my free arm.

"You scare people." She replied with a shrug. I really had no idea if she was serious or not, but didn't really care. That's one think I had gotten over since living with Todd and LeAnn. I flat out didn't care what people thought of me anymore. It was so bad in high school that I would hurt myself over it, but not anymore. I've grown. They really helped me become a better person, that's a parent's job and they went above and beyond for me.

"Good." I replied with a sternness that surprised myself.

"Not good! You're an awesome person, other people should see that too!"

I just shrugged at which point she scoffed, but dropped the subject. We went out to lunch every week. I made myself. I didn't really like to 'go out' because social interactions made me nervous, so I didn't really have a lot of friends, so the few ones…one I did have, I really had to work at it because it just didn't seem to come naturally for me.

After lunch it was back to the office for a few hours, then back home. Since social interactions bothered me so much I didn't go out. I was just fine going home, watching television, reading, listening to music, or just sitting in silence with Phantom. That was my life. Simple. Safe.

Before going home I took Phantom to the park for a long walk, then a few rounds of fetch. Paperwork days were always long and I was starting to get a headache. A nice hot bath was in order tonight. As soon as I got home I locked the door behind me, it made me feel safer. I fixed a simple sandwich for myself and gave Phantom some dog food. I cleaned up the few measly dishes and rolled my neck forward and tried to ease the tension there.

I was halfway to my bathroom when there was a knock on the door. Phantom immediately started to growl at the door. Quietly I grabbed my gun from my bag and looked out of the peephole to see two guys standing there waiting.

"What do you want?" I called out and Phantom started to bark.

"Were looking for Paige." One of them called out.

"Okay, well again, what do you want?" I spat back.

"Paige? Bobby sent us, it's Sam and Dean."

X-X

So I already have several chapters written and plan on updating once a week. I hope everyone will like part 2 as much as they liked part one. If you have the time, please send me a quick review, I love reading them. Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

My heart pounded in my chest. It really was them, I couldn't believe it. In the last 10 years I would sometimes ask about them, but never in detail, it just hurt too much, and I think Bobby could sense that because he would say they are still around and keep me updated. I had hoped Dean would maybe write back to me, but after the 3rd unanswered letter, I gave up. He didn't care about me the way I had thought he had. For him it was all business, kill the monster and move on. Phantom was still barking like crazy.

"Uhh...hole on just a sec." I put my gun back in my bag and peered at myself in the mirror next to the door and took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

I unhooked the chain and unlocked the door to see both boys smiling brightly at me, a shy smile on my own face. Phantom crouched down and started to growl at them as soon as the door opened up.

"Phantom sit." I said sternly and he immediately stopped growing and sat. I opened the door wide and invited them in.

"You sure Kujo won't bite me?" Dean asked with a chuckle.

As soon as I closed the door I felt arms wrap around me, and I stiffened up slightly and Phantom went into a protective grouch again, but then I wrapped my own arms around Sam who lifted me up off the floor and spun me around once and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Sam! Look how tall you are now. The last time I saw you, you were all lanky and knobby." I laughed and my feet touched the ground once more. He broke out in big smile. I snapped my fingers at Phantom and he laid down once more.

"Sorry, we don't get much company and he's very protective of me." I explained.

I turned my gaze to Dean who opened his arms slightly, inviting me in for a hug. I stepped lightly into his embrace on my tiptoes and he held me close. My chin fit perfectly on his shoulder and I turned my face up slightly. He buried his face in the bend of my neck. He smelled just like I remembered and my heart thumped painfully in my chest. I let my eyes slip close, those brief memories of light kisses came back to mind.

When I pulled back I willed the pinkness to leave my cheeks and I ushered them into my front room. "Wow, when I talked to Bobby yesterday I never thought he would send in the Winchester family." The boys settled on the couch and I took the chair. Phantom rested his head on my seated legs and I scratched him behind the ears.

"Your right, he is protective." Sam chuckled.

"So uh, is your dad here as well?" I asked them.

Both boys shifted in their seats and the atmosphere changed drastically in the room. I've learned to pick up on these uncomfortable pauses with what I do and Phantom whined briefly, he must have felt it too. "Sorry, sore subject?" I guessed.

They looked at each other briefly. "Were actually looking for him." Sam said rather coolly and I let the subject drop, there was obviously a lot going on there and I didn't want to pour salt in the open wound.

"Okay, well down to business, your told Bobby you think these kidnappings could have something to do with what you went through?" Dean asked.

I took a deep breath, "well yeah, I mean this is the 3rd kid to disappear this month, it just seems fishy." I explained getting up and grabbing the papers that had the articles in them handing them to the boys. "I don't know, it just rubs me the wrong way." Every time I moved, Phantom was at my heels.

When I got upset, I paced, so Phantom paced right along with me. "Look, I know I'm not a hunter, I never wanted to, but Todd and LeAnn taught me well, I can take care of myself now. I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about the kids. Someone or something is taking them, maybe it's not vampires, it could just be regular sick people, I just don't know, but someone needs to take a deep look at everything. I don't want another kid to go through what I had to, that was just too horrible." I rambled, yet another thing I did when I got upset.

Dean got up and blocked my pacing around the room laying his hands on my shoulders. Phantom growled softly and I looked down at him and told him to shush. "You know when Bobby called, he gave us all the details."

"Oh. Well sorry for the recap then." I murmured going red.

Sam chuckled lightly on the couch, "see, she still blames everything on herself."

I looked at Sam then back to Dean confused. "We just wanted to se you. After we left we made sure to ask Bobby how you were from time to time. When he told us who it was that called we immediately got in the car and drove here." Sam explained and left me confused, Bobby never told me the boys asked about me.

The blush on my face deepened. I felt completely flabbergasted. I assumed once they left, that was it for them and they never gave me another thought.

"For the record, we do think there is a case here." Sam informed me, which left me feeling better. I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was. I gave Dean another shy smile and took a deep breath.

"Were gonna look into everything in the morning, we just wanted to swing by, see if you wanted to catch up. Grab a bite to eat maybe."

Honestly 20 minutes ago I wanted nothing more than take a long hot bath, but given the chance, I actually wanted to go out, which was not like me. April always wanted to go out on the town, but I always turned her down.

"Okay." I said and bit my lip. I was so unsure of myself. I looked down and realized that I was still in my white button down shirt and dress pants. "Give me a sec to change?" I asked the boys who both smiled and nodded. I walked quickly into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I took another deep breath and let it out. I never cared how I 'looked'. I dressed nice for work and had jeans and tee shirts, but I actually wanted to dress up. I never realized how much I actually missed the Winchester boys. As quickly as I could I went through my closet and found a red top April had bought me for my last birthday. She said she was tired me seeing me in either business wear, or baggy tee-shirts and jeans. I pulled that on quickly and found my favorite dark jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror again and thought I actually looked okay. I reapplied some blush and took one more steadying, deep breath.

When I stepped out of my room both boys looked at me in surprise. "What?" I asked suddenly feeling self conscience.

"Well we just figured we would be waiting like an hours." Sam replied and I laughed.

"Sorry to disappoint, I'm not too fussy about that type of things."

"We didn't even get to snoop through your stuff." Dean remarked with a grin. I opened my closet and grabbed a light jacket since it was kind of cook out tonight. "You wouldn't find anything good except my weapons." I replied shrugging into my jacket.

Dean scoffed, "Yeah, I bet.

I looked at him with mild irritation. My closet was still open so I grabbed my shotgun, cocked it, and pointed it at Dean, his grin vanished almost instantly, thought Sam burst into laughter. "She showed you!" Sam gave Dean a shove.

"I bet you could search my whole place and not find all my hiding places."

Dean seemed impressed. "I told you I can take care of myself now. I'm not just some girl who can be taken lightly anymore." I informed him.

Since I was standing near the door, Phantom was ready to leave, but I thought it would be best to leave him at home. "Sorry bud, you gotta stay home tonight, but keep an eye out for me," I said while scratching behind his ear. I grabbed my purse and turned to the two waiting boys. "Ready?" I asked feeling shy all over again.

They left and I locked the door behind me. I followed them out to the parking lot and was shocked. "Is that your dad's car?" I asked.

Dean broke out into a huge grin. "Yeah, that's my baby." Sam looked at me and rolled his eyes. I had every intention of driving myself, but as I moved towards my car, Dean grabbed me by the shoulder, "oh no, don't think your not gonna ride in her, you get shotgun."

So that's how I found myself riding shotgun next to Dean going for a night on the town. I felt every bit of 16 all over again.

X-X

Thanks for the awesome reviews guys, I get surprised every time I check my email and I see them in there, they really do mean a lot to me.

Desiree'


	11. Chapter 11

"So what do you recommend?" Sam asked as he stuck his head in-between Dean and I over the seat. I glanced at him and just shrugged my shoulders.

"Uh, I have no idea. I don't get out much." I admitted causing both Dean and Sam to look at me skeptically.

"Seriously?" Dean asked in shock.

Again I just shrugged my shoulders. "So let me get this straight, you don't get a lot of company and you don't go out much...do you have a life?" Dean asked as he pulled out onto the road.

Ouch...that stung more than it would have from anyone else. "I actually do, I just don't go out much." I replied icily shifting the mood in the car. I didn't want that, I actually just wanted to have fun with them tonight. I took a deep breath. "Sorry, I actually don't have a life, I pretty much go to work and go home." I admitted quietly. "My job is my life."

I felt Sam place his hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at him in the back seat. "Our job is our life too, don't stress about it." I gave Sam a small smile, maybe they did get it after all. April had told me about this bar she liked to go to, she said it was easy to get picked up there, which I didn't want, but I knew where it was, so I gave directions as best as I could, considering I had never been there before and we found it with no problems.

Dean pulled into an empty spot on the side of the building and I could hear music thumping out from the front doors. My hands suddenly got clammy and I could feel an uncomfortable sensation in my stomach. Both boys were already getting out of the car. I gripped my bag tightly, I still had my gun in it and ready, plus I was with Sam and Dean, I really didn't think they would let anything hurt me. Thought if I was being completely honest with myself, I don't know if I was more worried about supernatural things...or men. With a shaky hand I opened the door and got out clutching my purse close to my chest.

I had anxiety problems, always have, but as an adult I've managed to keep it down, stay calm. Well tonight I was throwing a monkey wrench in my life. Dean pushed open the door, Sam right behind him, and I reluctantly followed the boys to a booth, both boys sliding into an empty side and I quickly slid in next to Dean. My nerves felt completely shot. There was reasons I only had one friend and I didn't go out, and this was the reason. I felt like the walls inside my head were closing in around me, leaving me defenseless, a feeling I didn't like feeling.

Todd and LeAnn taught me how to fight, and take care of myself so I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore, this was a horrible sensation. One I hadn't felt in a very long time.

A cute waitress came over to get our orders. Dean ordered a beer and a bacon cheeseburger, Sam a beer and a side of fries. Finally the waitress looked my way. "Uh, cheeseburger and a couple shots of vodka." I squeaked out and saw Sam raise his eyebrows in my direction, but I was too nervous to really care. "You know what, bring a couple shots for the whole table." Dean told her, she nodded, wrote it down on her pad and left the table.

"I thought you said you didn't get out much." Sam said with a laugh.

"You know, I wasn't exactly squeaky clean when you met. I had my own dark past, and this was part of it." I replied, my knee bouncing up and down on it's own under the table. I could see Dean looking down at my knee bouncing away.

"You always this jittery when your out?" Dean asked leaning closer to me, making me even more jittery. I could feel his breath on my ear, causing all sorts of new sensations in my stomach.

"Since I never go out. Yes."

The waitress brought over enough shots for us and 3 beers. As soon as it was all on the table I took my first shot glass and tipped it down feeling it burn down my throat and chest. I coughed at the unfamiliar liquid fire scorching my throat, but that didn't stop me from grabbing the second one and downing it as fast as my first. This time it didn't burn as much.

I saw Dean's face in the corner of my eye and turned to look at him. He had a small smile on his face and he grabbed his first shot and tipped it back.

"What?" I asked in my own defense.

He gave a breathy laugh. "Nothing, I know you told me that you drank when you were a kid, but I never could picture it. I'm impressed is all, lets see if you can keep up with me."

Not that I condoned drinking, but I couldn't help but find a small ounce of pride spreading through my chest, a smile of my own spreading to my lips. Alcohol did wonders for my jittery nerves and was already feeling calmed being in the atmosphere I was in, I felt like I could start to relax now. Open up even. It wasn't like I was with someone new, I already knew Sam and Dean...slightly.

I wasn't going to fool myself into thinking I knew them. I didn't. One quick week, some sort of relationship, plus I told Dean more about myself, then he told me about him and his family. That wasn't knowing someone. Besides I have changed a lot in these past 10 years, they probably have too. Still, I felt better around them. Maybe it was just the liquid courage in my system, but I liked it.

"So, Sam, Dean, we have a lot to catch up on." I stated to both boys. Sam still seemed slightly shocked by my rapid drinking, Dean seeming to take it in stride. It had been a while since I had really drank. Maybe a beer after a rough day, but two shots back to back? I could definitely start to feel it's affect on me. Maybe it was a good idea that I didn't drive after all like I had intended to do.

"Nah, nothing has really changed for us. Were hungers, just like when we met." Sam said quickly, but his words seemed off, like he wasn't telling me the whole truth. It could have been the shots that was throwing me off, but I didn't think so. Plus he seemed to want to deflect the attention back to me.

"Okay, well how did you adjust to your height?" I asked and as soon as the words slipped out, I turned red. Those shots were hitting me harder than I had originally thought. I hadn't meant to be so blunt, or obvious.

However, Dean and Sam both laughed really hard so maybe it wasn't so stupid after all.

"Well I can show you, push you around this here dance floor, as they say." Sam said standing up and offering me his hand.

I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed the second shot from Sam's group, threw it back, and stood up. "Well, let's do this then."

In no way was I considered a small person, I was average height standing at 5'5'', but when Sam stood in front of me I felt completely dwarfed. The top of my head barely reached his shoulders. "You were such a scrawny kid, what happened to you Sam Winchester?" I asked as he pushed me around the dance floor, and not too shabbily either.

Sam just shrugged. "I always wanted to be as tall as Dean when I was a kid, so maybe this is nature's way of making up for me being so small as a kid." Sam spun me around quickly and made me laugh, my head spinning around a little as well. I haven't had this much fun in a long time. It may have been the drink talking, but I missed this. Letting loose and having fun with nothing holding me back. Our dance was more comical than dancing with a lot of spins and dips as possible to amuse me. It worked. Before the song ended I could see the waitress bring our food to the table.

I glanced at Dean to see him staring at us intently, but as soon as his eyes made contact with mine, he shifted to look at the door, but I could have swore he had jealously written all over his face. Maybe it was my imagination because when I glanced his way again, it was gone. I shook my head slightly and smiled up at Sam who dipped me dramatically once more.

"Okay, okay, I get it, your adjusted. I think it's time to eat." I added as the song came to a close.

Sam made a big show of escorting me back to the table where I sat next to Dean once more who had already started on his burger.

"You looked good out there on the dance floor. Happy. I'm glad." Dean said between bites.

It sounded so final, "Yeah well happy doesn't visit me very often." I muttered and picked up my own burger. I didn't mean to sound so brutal, it just slipped out. "Maybe you could show me a thing or two out there tonight."

X-X

Okay I know it's been a few weeks, and I'm really sorry, I ended up breaking my wrist and had a cast on, and it was terrible to type with that thing on, so I made this chapter a tad longer than I usually do. I hope you enjoy and not a lot of people have given up on my and my erratic updating


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